Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
