did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
