I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize