So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
