he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
