It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
