guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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