No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
