im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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