so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
