I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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