i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
