So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize