I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
