she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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