hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
