Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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