My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
