Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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