We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
