my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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