took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
