What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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