You work out of a Hotel?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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