Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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