with your own penis?
I'm really into asian looking animals
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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