I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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