then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
