The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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