weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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