I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
