he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize