I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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