It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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