do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
