Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
