Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
