I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
