Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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