but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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