I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
