Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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