when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
