On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
