So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
