He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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