It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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