I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
