Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
