its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
