i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
