I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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