the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize