You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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