So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So much Jack, so little girl.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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