Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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