Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
