So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
