so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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