Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
