is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
well you can't waste a boner
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize