just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
