How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
