I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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