is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize